And I'm not afraid to admit it. There are certain aspects of my life that I take very, very seriously and won't rest until I know that everything is just so.
Right now, we're in California, my birthplace and home, we flew in about two hours away from my mom's place. That being said, in order to ensure a speedy drive home we split the troops in half. Three people in one car and three people in the other. Carpool lane here we come. Well, our "speedy" drive home turned into another long, arduous trip. It took us five hours instead of the normal two.
Car #1: Me, my sister and Roma.
Car#2: My mom, my brother and Cylas.
This is where the control freak in me starts to get freaky. My kid is not in my car, therefore, I am feeling out of sorts. He is a couple of car lengths back and we're in the worst traffic jam I've seen since we moved away two years ago. I mean, please, compared to where we live, the middle of nowhere, the only traffic you're bound to see is a horse and buggy trotting along, holding up four cars...yeah.
Soo, here is my heart in my mouth. Yes. I'm controlling protective. But, I make sure to balance it out with letting other aspects in my life hang loose for a while. Some days I won't vacuuming obsessively or clean constantly. My house isn't perfect, but I like to make sure it's picked up and if I'm not walking around with a broom and a vacuum the house would be three feet under toys and crumbs. No joke.
And when my babies are older, I will still be concerned for their welfare. I'm not going to let them know how my heart trips a beat when I'm not exactly sure where they're at...or how it makes me smile to hear their voices as they chatter, or when they confide in me their concerns.
In general, I like to know what's going on with my household and I try to find ways to make it run smoother. People are so quick to judge. They see me as the one who "runs the house" and have even openly accused me of it. And I don't mean in a nice way like, "Oh, you are so organized and your family is just so blah, blah, blah." I mean, like, I'm this dictatorial person and my husband is just a trinket that I dust off every now and then. Not so. Our house runs just the way it needs to because D and I are...wait for it...a united front. Wow. Who woulda thunk? Yes, I may be more vocal than my husband, but that doesn't mean anything in the world of a unified marriage. Well, yes, it does mean something. It means that I talk a lot and poor D has to sit through it all like and act like he's ReeeAaally listening to me. HAH.
And please, get that look off your face. If you're aware the state this world is in...you suffer from "control" issues, too.
2 comments:
I had a nursery worker tell me that Paxton "must be my first child..." because I wouldn't leave him with a stranger. If that is a "control" issue, I want to keep it.
Yes, people can be very condescending when they sniff out "first time mothers". It's rude. Keep your awareness up about your child...that is a very good "control" issue.
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