Getting over the small stuff

Unfortunately, the small stuff can be hard to "get over".  More often than not, it's the small stuff that ruins relationships.  It's true.  

a mistunderstanding

poor communication

assumptions

idiocyncracies

cultural differences

I can't begin to truly list all of the contributing factors.  Just know, that each of those listed I have experienced.  The past couple of months have been extremely trying for me.  The other morning I was having breakfast with D and it hit me.  

Just. get. over. it

But it's sooo hard!  The more I thought about it, the more it made sense.  If I let all of the little stuff bug me and bug me until I can't bear to look at the person, all that little stuff will soon big a big pile.  A big pile of messy, icky, bad, feelings.  No good.  

I am, inherently, a very forgiving and loving person, so it makes it very hard for me to be angry at someone for very long.  Please, don't think you'll escape my extremely point blank opinion, though.  I may not be able to stay mad at you for long but you'll know how I feel about ....whatever it is. 

But, I think that in order for me to continue to grow, as a mature adult, learning the lesson of "getting over it" is inescapable.  *slump*  And so, so hard. 

While I am forgiving and whatnot, I'm also quite high strung.  So, when conflict arises I tend to jump into the fray without completely thinking things through.  Lately, I've made myself stop, for at least a minute, before I pitch in.  And you know what, I find that I don't NEED to contribute as much as I'd thought!  Wow.  It's a total diffuser...this newfangled concept of THINKING THINGS THROUGH.  Sheeeesh.  Why didn't anyone tell me this before??  I'm kind of diggin' it though.  

Listen

Wait

Filter your thoughts

And then: pitch in -- or not.

It works.  Trust me.