War

This morning the alarm woke me up. No, not my children, but an NPR interview with the new general. General McChrystal. I lay there, still fuzzy with sleep, trying to make sense of what I was hearing. And for some reason, through the fog, this exchange of information spoke to me. During the night, Cylas ran into our room and was snuggling on D's side of the bed and early this morning Roma woke up and wanted to be fed so I just left her in bed on my side. With my two children within arms reach and my husband snoring soundly, I couldn't help but think that I have a huge responsiblity to raise my children in this war zone of life. Honestly. Deep thinking for 7:30 am. But I promise that this was all going through my head with rapid clarity. The responsibilities I have as a parent require me to tacticly out maneuver what ever enemy might be seeking out my children. One quote from the general spoke to me. When asked how his method was different from the past generals he said, " You have take to away what the insurgents want most. Access to the people". Then he framed this with his thoughts on how to accomplish this. He said to "arm the people" with knowledge on how to protect themselves. Give them something to want to protect. Amidst my thoughts, I'm laughing at myself for being so literal this early in the morning, but laughing at my inner monologue did not stop me from thinking. And I still agree with myself when I say that raising my children to be armed with knowledge, wisdom and a deep love for God is the most difficult task I've ever set my foot to.

Picnic in the van

I'm sure all mothers can relate with this especially mothers with two or more children. How many times have you started your day with the determination to be out before lunch time. I usually aim for 10am. It's not too early and it gives me enough time to run around while Roma is sleeping and Cylas is still full from breakfast. But somehow one o'clock rolls around and I'm STILL flitting around the house. It's a gogeous day and I really want to take the kids out for a little picnic after a quick stop at the library to get some books. But...
My day: Roma naps while I try to get us on the road but before I can load her into the van Cylas decides that it's time to poop. Thankfully I bathed them both this morning so a quick wipe down should be good. I'm hurrying all the while thankful I managed to get a shower and make our bed. But in spite of my frantic cleaning, the house looks a little worn out because Cylas dragged all of his bed covers and several HUNDRED stuffed animals all through the house, leaving the mass of them on our bed. And where did the ants come from? Why do I have ants crawling all over my kitchen? The dishes were done, the floor was mopped and I'm fighting a small army with soap and scrubbie. Ick. Ick. Sitting in the cool library never sounded so good. But how to get out of the house. I just want to be around people. So, now, the little munchkins are piled in the van and I'm proud of myself because I've packed a lunch for Cylas, but now I'm hungry. No time to eat. I need to get going before it's HIS nap time. I make it to the library only to find out that my card has an ASTRONOMICAL fine and I can't check out any books! So, to make my harried day a little more interesting I'm on library card probation. Yeah, the young mother of two can't even drag herself to the library to keep up with the due dates. And I'm still hungry. *sigh* Good thing I packed Cylas a tuna sandwich with goldfishes and a banana. I think I'm going to get Taco Bell and sit in the van for our picnic.

I'm sorry but..

This is really kinda funny...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1ZABV7AQdA&feature=rec-HM-r2

Words that mean something

I was at the library the other day...hahah. Surprise, surprise. And on my way in the door, I noticed in the display case a wonderful quote by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

"The love of learning, the sequestered nooks,
And all the sweet serenity of books."

What a striking quote. It made me smile as I ushered my little brood into the comfort and the quiet the library provides.
I want to say something that people will remember forever! I want it to be something that will speak to someone's heart.

I guess I need to learn...

That it is OK to relax and take time for myself. I think today was the first time I actually compartmentalized my children and myself. What I mean is, I was able to go somewhere and think about myself and not them! I left the children at home with D -- although I would be lying if I said that I didn't think of them once...really quickly, halfway through my meal. But when I walked out of the house this morning, poor D was trying to console a screaming Roma and quiet a whining Cylas. It would be dishonest of me to say that the slightest hint of a smile did not flicker across my face as I pulled out of the driveway. Away. For some time alone. Yes, I smiled. It felt good. It's very hard to enjoy myself nowadays. I'm always worrying. Are the kids ok? Did they eat? Is Cylas hurt? Is Roma crying? The temptation not to enjoy myself is too great. And I usually end up having half-a-good-time. *sigh* But, maybe, it's getting to the point that my body wants to relax with or without me! The other night D let me escape. It was rainy and I was supposed to work out that night, but I was sick so I opted to go to a restaurant with a good book and sit there for an hour. I love, love, doing that. But, it's never completely enjoyable because I have images of children dancing in my head. So, whatever. I am, from now on, going to enjoy me-time. My time. Only me (when I can!! Now, children, would you please go to sleep so I can play Scrabble...haha)

Unaware...

I don't know about everyone else, but one of my greatest desires is to make a lasting impact on someone. I suppose I should qualify and say that I would prefer the impact to be a good one! Sometimes I make acquaintances with people and it stays pretty much that - superficial, nice-tah-meet, soon you raccoon. Then I have the occasion to develop a relationship with someone and these are the moments I live for. During my two years at UC Davis, I met a lot of people. Seeing as I was a Russian major, 95% of my classes were in the Russian department. And I'm pretty sure you can guess that most of the people I met were Russian! These relationship meant so much to me. They were all healthy and I am proud to say that I am still in contact with these people today. Zhenya, Zhanna, Mila, Katy, Sabina and Anna. Each of these ladies contributed something to my life and I am so grateful for their friendships. We've laughed, gone on picnics, talked for hours, done homework together, camped, shared ideas on relationships and God and so many other things. But, what is most rewarding to me is to know that I gave something of myself to these girls. At least, during my time in CA, I tried. Well, today I got an email, from one of these lovely ladies, thanking me for my friendship and advice offered. Wow!! I was so happy. I didn't know how much our conversations meant to her. Sometimes, we can take ourselves for granted. And this only reminds me to keep myself focused, positive and on the path to reach my goals in life. No one knows when their conversation, actions or attitude can impact someone. Hopefully, it's for the good and you see the effects down the line.

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