(Cylas accidentally getting a knee in the chin. POW!)
I'm thinking of a bunch of cords, buried deep, and all attached to issues -- issues in my life that I need to either have closure in or resolve. Somehow, life has a way of yankin' my stinkin' chain and unearthing these suckers. One by one and, sometimes, some by some they wiggle to the surface and I have to face them! But, "WHAT NOW"!!?I can tell you that I've gotten really good at this. I'm so used to junk surfacing that I'm not even surprised anymore. Hah. Now, I just sit and wait. Sometimes it will be two months, three months or even longer, but it's inevitable.
Recently, little "issues" have surfaced leaving me to either try and bury them again or just take it head on! Head on. I am not the same person I was when I moved here two and a half years ago. Head. on. baby. So, I take my idiosyncrasies and use them to better myself. But this stuff hurts. Sometimes it makes me feel like a failure, seeing these things in me. Having parts of me that are broken, underdeveloped or even battered, hurt...bad. Like a knee in the chin.
For some reason, though, I'm totally ok with this process. Some of the best, and healing, conversations have taken place during these moments of reveal. As a result, I am one determined mama, wife and friend. Promises have been made and I won't let myself down. I am beyond grateful for the moments of "reveal". There is no fear in me and I embrace the little earthquakes that shake me and cause my inner cords to come to light.
And thank God I have Him to help me conquer.
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