Saturday, May 9, 2009

I guess I need to learn...


That it is OK to relax and take time for myself. I think today was the first time I actually compartmentalized my children and myself. What I mean is, I was able to go somewhere and think about myself and not them! I left the children at home with D -- although I would be lying if I said that I didn't think of them once...really quickly, halfway through my meal. But when I walked out of the house this morning, poor D was trying to console a screaming Roma and quiet a whining Cylas. It would be dishonest of me to say that the slightest hint of a smile did not flicker across my face as I pulled out of the driveway. Away. For some time alone. Yes, I smiled. It felt good. It's very hard to enjoy myself nowadays. I'm always worrying. Are the kids ok? Did they eat? Is Cylas hurt? Is Roma crying? The temptation not to enjoy myself is too great. And I usually end up having half-a-good-time. *sigh* But, maybe, it's getting to the point that my body wants to relax with or without me! The other night D let me escape. It was rainy and I was supposed to work out that night, but I was sick so I opted to go to a restaurant with a good book and sit there for an hour. I love, love, doing that. But, it's never completely enjoyable because I have images of children dancing in my head. So, whatever. I am, from now on, going to enjoy me-time. My time. Only me (when I can!! Now, children, would you please go to sleep so I can play Scrabble...haha)

1 comment:

Candi said...

Yes - Scrabble time is critical! =)