The test

I spoke on the qualities of the Proverbs 31 woman a couple weeks back.  Yesterday, I was confronted with a situation and I totally forgot about all of those nuggets of wisdom.  But today during my morning prayer and bible reading my lesson came floating back to the surface.  Haunting me a little.  Mentally, I took a second to rewind over yesterday's catastrophe and I grimaced.  Shucks.  I didn't pass the "perfect Proverbs woman" test, but neither did I fail completely.  So much bubbled behind my lips during the confrontation, but I didn't let it out.  There were a few jabs and snarky comments...kept at a minimum but there, nonetheless.  Being a human is so unforgiving.  We automatically defend ourselves against attacks, but not always wisely. 

As much as I wanted to call names and spit a little something held me back.  I've always held strong to this quote, "There is wisdom in discretion."  And this morning a verse popped up in my reading.

"Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee:"

Prov 2:11

Perfect.  Just another reminder that not all arguments are worth continuing or contributing to.  There are some battles I'm not meant to fight.  God is.  No matter what this person thinks of me, God is the ultimate definer.  My life on this earth has been witnessed by many people, they've seen me grow, struggle, learn, fail...all of it.  They have shown me love and I wouldn't be the person I am today without them. 
So, for yesterday's battle I say that it was another test to who I am in Christ.  Not perfect.  Still learning.  Clinging to His wisdom yearning after his paths.  This is worth more to me than silly, foolish words exchanged and a well placed jab at someone's expense.   Not going to lie, it felt good to get my two cents in every once-in-a-word, but was it worth it? 

No

That feeling

I really, really hate guilt.  It is so unforgiving and takes a lot out of you...especially when you shouldn't feel guilty -- oh, and being ashamed is right up there with guilt.  How did those feelings get so twisted and manage to attach themselves to parts of our lives without a REAL cause?
The only time one should feel guilt or shame is when they have done something wrong.  How many of us feel guilty about things in our lives and can't really explain why?  There is just an unexplainable heaviness about situations and a lot of doubt in the belief system you've created for yourself.
Thinking about all the time I've wasted feeling this way makes me mad!  It means that I need to take a deeper look inside and shore up my belief in myself. 
If I know something is right, then I need to stick by it and not waver for someone else and their very strong opinion.  It's THEIR opinion (unless there is irrefutable proof they are right) I can't get caught in their mental web.  It's confusing and a complete waste of time...

Leave me alone guilt and shame, there is no room for you here!

Just something that has been on my mind.