My Definition

 

Me Defined.   

I don't play.  There are too many ways to live your "own life" nowadays.  People justify their indiscretions by using the age old excuse, "well, if s/he hadn't done this...I wouldn't have done...blah, blah."  Please.  Now, the tone of this post is going to sound a little harsh and I don't pull out this side of me very often but, I feel the need to share.

When I first became a mom four years ago (four!??), I was completely out of my element.  I was so lost it was laughable.  I knew the basic duties of being a mother.  Feed, change diaper, change clothing, bathe...but after that...what was I supposed to do?  Well, I started figuring it out really quickly when little tantrums started popping up.  I needed to train my child.  And once my child was trained, I could add to my child's life additional skills, people, social, and ethics.  But my child needed a firm foundation from which to build off of.  

Oh.  So THAT'S what else I needed to be doing other than the basic "let's-keep-this-child-from-starving" mothering.  Hmm, more than meets the eye. 

But.  and this is going to be a big one.  How does one put into their child what they, as individuals, are lacking? Before I give the impression that I was a hedonistic, barbaric neanderthal, I wasn't.  But, I was a little rough around the edges.

Let's jump ahead to the present.  Now, I have worked on myself for the past few years to make sure I'm the best example my son and daughter could have to pattern themselves after.  I can't wait for the day my babies whisper in my ear, "Mommy, I wanna be just like you."  

So, they define me.  If you want to know who I am.  Look at my children.  I am putting all of me into them.  Not only me, but my husband too.  They are me and I am them.  I don't have time to make excuses for my short-comings there isn't enough time in the day.  I need to FIX those parts of me because my children are counting on me.  I would rather err on the side of caution than to risk it all because of semantics.  So, call me what you may, prudish, close-minded, rude, judgemental but you aren't in my house.  My children are my responsibility and, ultimately,  I have to answer for the way I raised them. 

God.  Help me.  Amen.