Is this what it's really like?

When I sit here and think that it has only been three days since I gave birth to our beautiful little girl, it really amazes me! So much has managed to take place over the past couple of days. Only two hours after our little sweet made her entrance I had guests in my hospital room. I stayed in there, under supervision, only one day and then returned home. Unfortunately, while I was out Skyler managed to catch the flu, so before I came home my mom made sure to bleach, wash and clean every possible surface he could have touched. It smelled so good when I walked in the door. But, being home didn't mean I would get to rest. That night Roma kept me up until 3:30 in the morning. Talk about having flashbacks! I remembered the intense exhaustion from when we first brought Cylas home from the hospital. But last night she kept me up until 5:30 in the morning. Yes, my day started at 7:30 in the morning and ended at 5:30 this morning. Tired doesn't really describe how I was feeling. Maybe a better word would be -- crazy. I caught about an hour's sleep total the whole night and just when I thought I might possibly get sleep Cylas came into our room and puked up on the bed. I completely gave up on sleeping at that point and resigned myself to puke-duty while David tried to console a screaming Roma. The sun filtered through our windows around 7:30 and found Cylas and David camped out in the front room on a makeshift bed, the carpet tossed to one side and a huge bucket next to their heads. My eyes could barely open and I felt a bit loopy. I think that was because Roma was laying next to me screaming again. I sighed, and just had to convince myself that I could get up even if my eyes weren't working and my legs felt like jelly. After a hot bowl of oatmeal with honey, I started to get the warm, fuzzies about having two children and it made me smile.

Snow, Cy and Slipping!

Yesterday it started snowing. And well, it really snowed! We woke up to about three or four inches and it was super quiet. Have you ever noticed how the snow absorbs everything? The colors, sounds and even your thoughts it seems. Today I was sitting at our table looking out the window, eating soup and watching the snow twirl down. It was mesmerizing. And I started at each of those frozen parachuting water flakes and thought: scary! I know it sounds crazy but I'm so used to the comforting sounds of rain and how it lulls you to sleep or makes you want to read a good book. Snow, it's so silent. And it makes you feel like you're in one of those globes, trapped like Santa and his reindeer. Hmmm, not good.
So, snow reminds me of danger. And speaking of which, yesterday I slipped and fell! I landed splat flat on my back, skinning my elbow and hurting my pride. I never fall. It was very disconcerting, considering I am 9 months pregnant. Needless to say, I went to the hospital and they hooked me up to monitor the baby for about four hours. Everything is fine; thank the Lord. But, in spite of my fall Cylas is an eager beaver to go out and play! This morning he saw the snow and starting screaming with delight and told me, "goodbye, momma". He put on his snow boots and yelled for his jacket, my red knit hat and his mittens. David obliged and Cy tromped outside kicking the snow as he went. A full ten minutes went by before we made him come back in. He was having such a great time. His little nose was bright red and his cheeks chapped.
The photos of our house I took right before I posted this blog...and the video of Cylas is right before the snow that evening. (this is Cylas in his NEW snowsuit!!)

Where is your favorite place?

There are only a couple of places I can say that truly bring a sense of calm to my mind. First, and the most obvious, would be the presence of the Lord; second, my husband's embrace; and third would be the library. And that is where I was today with my little munchkin! We browsed for about an hour. It was so relaxing. The library is one place where I can sit down and just enjoy sitting! I can't even tell you what goes through my mind or why I find it so comforting. Most likely it was cultivated from the many years, as a young child, my mom would take my sisters and I to the local library and we would get piles and piles of books! You would never guess that we already had shelves crammed full of books at home. I remember how excited we would get when mom would tell us that it was library day! I think we would get the maximum amount allowed almost every time. Some books I would check out again and again...
As I got older and was able to go on my own, I would bring home all the Nancy Drew and Hardy Boy books I could and stuff myself into a chair at home and just read. Unfortunately, books at the table were strictly forbidden, so I had to tear myself away for a couple hours for dinner time. But, if the parents weren't there us girls would sit at the table slurping soup, eating pizza or munching on cereal with books shoved to our noses enjoying our secret sin. My mom always had books. As a matter of fact, one of her dreams was to have a small library of her own. At one point, a whole room in our house was full of bookshelves and packed from top to bottom with everything from history to art. And now, my little boy has his own mini-library in his room and soaks up every photo of bugs, plants, animals and underwater adventure he can. How many times he has scolded me for turning off the light too soon because he wasn't finished reading, I can't remember. And, going to sleep, whether a nap or for the night, without first reading a book is a crime to him. Is the love for books an inheritable trait!? Gracious, it sure seems like it.

There's life as you know it....and then, there is reality

BAM! Can I use the cliche, "it hit me like a ton of bricks"...I think this best describes the feeling I had today while sitting with my family, as I now know it, at Panera Bread. -- side note: LOVE Panera Bread...it's a 45 min drive away but sooo worth it!! -- I looked over at David and said, "Honey, you know that this will be the last time we'll ever go out to eat together like this. Next time, it's going to be completely different". We stared at each other and then started to chuckle. We looked at Cylas and marveled at the wonder we created and are raising. And now, we have another little wonder-ess that will be needing our tender love and care. It's hard for me to imagine splitting my love in two...or maybe I'm not going to be splitting my love but only multiplying it. The nights we spend, just the three of us, strumming on the guitar, making paper hats, reading books, singing and snuggling are going to include a new member of the family. A little girl that will make everything sweet and sugary. This is going to be such a contrast to Cy's high strung, energy driven desire to wrestle, build, catapult his toys across the room or just spin in circles screaming as loud as he can. Up until this point, Roma has just been "my stomach" and next week she'll be here!! Now, my brain has to shift from boy to girl. How easy will this transition be? I suppose I'll grow into it like I grew into Cy. Although, I must admit it was so easy to be a "boy mommy". I wonder if Roma's creativity will rival her brother's. There isn't a day that goes by where he finds something interesting to do with ordinary items. Notice the pieces of cheese on his head and hand in the photo? I took that one last night. Hmmm...move over snakes, bugs, elephants and tigers...because the dolls, Barbie's and plastic high heels are going to be sharing your shelves soon.

Ode to Romalise

So, on my way home from the library I was listening to the classical station and they played a piece that was composed especially for the birth of the composers son...it was short and sweet and sung by a woman in an operatic voice and it inspired me to write a little something for our daughter. Now, I'm no classical composer or a fancy music artist, but I enjoy creating pictures with my words...and so:

As your little body first forms, my thoughts too follow a birthing course
In the womb, your heart beats a quick, fast pattern pulsing out the unmistakable sign of life
and my heart too pulsates feeding you as you grow, we grow together
At first the time is labeled as weeks, then it is months and then the days until your arrival
My stomach rounds as it makes room for your little body
you reassure me daily that you're still there, you kick, hiccup and push at your ever shrinking cocoon
The day you arrive will be always be yours and you will always be mine
Come to us soon my little butterfly