Woman-li-ness

Is that a word?! I can tell you that if it isn't it sure needs to be. I think that word means: graciousness, beauty, humility and inspiration. I long to be all of those! Wow, I can't tell you how my heart has been burdened with these thoughts. I don't want to lose who I am but I sure would like to soften my hard edges. I think that being a woman is essential especially when you have children and a family. I've been praying for the wisdom and strength it takes to be a virtuous woman. Oh Lord, I know that I have forever and a day to go. Why am I obsessing? I don't know...
I think my last post had something to do with this. Well, I guess it just goes to show how long this has been ailing me. As it stands, I am a young, married mother of 26 with a degree in Russian from UC Davis looking to buy a house....
Do I sound lost or what....?

Mommyhood

He's fifteen months old now. My mind reels as I think of the many months that have whipped by leaving me at today with the cutest 15 month old walking the planet! I'm constantly learning something new and trying to perfect my art of mommi-ness. I don't want to be an abusive mother but neither do I wish to be a push-over. I'm working at gaining respect from my little boy. I speak kindly, gently but firmly and sometimes I even have to swat his bottom. He seems to be a bit stubborn*groans*. His curiosity is voracious and he's constantly finding something new to entertain himself with. One of his favorite activities is reading! Sometimes the house falls too quiet and I'll find myself tiptoeing across the house trying to find the culprit of the quiet mischief. Hah! I can't tell you how many times I've found him squatting contentedly reading his books. The other night I sat down and was reading "The Wizard of Oz" (the book of his choice). I cut the story short and picked up another book. I had read only two sentences before he slid off my lap and picked up "The Wizard of Oz" and handed it to me. It was so cute! So, I continued reading the book he had chosen. I'm very curious as to what our next child will be like. I can't imagine having another child any less happy, curious or cute as Cylas!

Discovery!?

I am 26 years old and I feel like I've just discovered myself!! I was standing in my mother's dining area after helping re-arranging some of her furniture. As I stood there this overwhelming feeling of self-assurance and intelligence overtook me! Yeah, sounds stupid but, it's the first time in my life that I've felt a feeling of confidence and worth around my mother. Growing up, there was never a time that my mom's advice went unsolicited. I couldn't think for myself. But, as I helped her to re-arrange her furniture and she accepted my idea as a good one I "realized" myself. I have secretly been developing into a competent adult. WOW, what a first....